Christian Oehlert

Copywriter

And Thesaurus Expert

Christian Oehlert

Copywriter

And Thesaurus Expert


Saying the wrong thing

We’ve all done it

Whether it was on a date, during a presentation, or when your partner asked for your honest opinion. Or maybe it was when you were 15 and your 9-year-old cousin asked you how cheques worked and you misheard them as asking what sex was. Hypothetically.

These are the moments that you think about when you lie awake at three in the morning over a decade later. And these are the moments you cannot afford to have as a business.

Let me speak for you.


About Me

About Me

Full disclosure: After spending countless hours designing a website from scratch, I came to the not-so-startling realization that I have no aptitude for website development… so I scrapped what I had made and instead went with the second generic template I found because the guy in the stock photo kinda looks like me if you squint your eyes.

A Little Background

My name is Christian and I’m a copywriter originally from Toronto. I’ve lived all over the world, and can say “I speak a little bit of (x language)” in over 8 languages. I can swear in 12. My experiences abroad have been instrumental in the development of my own strong, moral compass. For example, I would never put ads on my portfolio website unless I was paid.

I want to use my years of global experience, living and working in places like Beijing, Tokyo and Berlin, to give brands a more international perspective. And to ultimately work with talented creatives on as many wild ideas as possible… before we are all made redundant by A.I. sometime in the next six months.

And?

My main takeaway from writing about myself (in this capacity) is that it’s more than a little tricky: there’s a delicate juggle between showing that I can write eloquently and not sounding like someone you want to punch in the face.

That’s it?

A friend advised that I keep my “About Me” section short, and I’m following their advice.

(Although, they still move their lips when they read, so I’m open to second opinions.)

A Little Background

My name is Christian and I’m a copywriter originally from Toronto. I’ve lived all over the world, and can say “I speak a little bit of (x language)” in over 8 languages. I can swear in 12. My experiences abroad have been instrumental in the development of my own strong, moral compass. For example, I would never put ads on my portfolio website unless I was paid.

I want to use my years of global experience, living in places like Beijing, Tokyo and Berlin, to give brands a more international perspective. And to ultimately work with talented creatives on as many wild ideas as possible… before we are all made redundant by A.I. sometime in the next six months.

And?

My main takeaway from writing about myself (in this capacity) is that it’s more than a little tricky: there’s a delicate juggle between showing that I can write eloquently and not sounding like someone you want to punch in the face.

That’s it?

A friend advised that I keep my “About Me” section short, and I’m following their advice.

(Although, they still move their lips when they read, so I’m open to second opinions.)

For more reasons to want to punch me in the face, jump ahead to my super cool Skills Section!

Or keep scrolling to see the types of work I enjoy making.

For more reasons to want to punch me in the face, jump ahead to my super cool Skills Section!

Or keep scrolling to see the types of work I enjoy making.

 


Recent Work

You Want Skills?

Relevant Skills

View CV
View CV

Irrelevant Skills

Animal Sounds
Animal Sounds


You Made it


You Made it

Thank you for taking the time to make it this far. At this point, I have to assume you are either a family member or potentially interested in working with me.

In the case of the latter, feel free to contact me.

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Update:

Since many people have asked, having studied social media means I don’t use any personal social media.

Don’t follow me on Instagram for more tips on how to live a healthy and happy life.